Sunday, December 14, 2008
I Doubt It
I've been a part of church since before I could remember and yet I doubt.
I've asked and received forgiveness of sins and yet I doubt.
I have heard of miracles from people I respect and yet I doubt.
I have been a part of the miracle of life and yet I doubt.
I have seen miracles IN MY OWN FAMILY and yet I doubt.
I have experience God-given revelation and yet I doubt.
I have experienced God's intervening in my darkest moments and yet I doubt.
I have felt God's unmistakable presence and yet I doubt.
I could sit here in guilt over my unbelief. I could pretend like I don't doubt. I could play a game and put on a good face. And maybe that would make people feel more comfortable. But I can't do it.
I know that at the time of Jesus' birth there had been 400 years of silence from God. 400 Years! I don't know what to do with that any more than I know what to do with God's silence in my own life. But here is the choice I have made today. I choose to keep seeking. I echo the prayer, "Lord, I believe, please help my unbelief." I am waiting for God to break in. I am waiting for the Messiah to come.
I am a girl needing a Savior.