Anger Lunch

Each week for the last month or so, we've been having a very informal lunch after the Sunday gatherings. There are a few of us who are consistent each week and others who pop in when they can. Yesterday was no exception - and the topic lent itself to conversation perfectly.

Who of us does not deal with anger? Is there a person on the planet that keeps their cool 24/7? I don't think so. If there were than the verses in the bible that speak to the idea of anger wouldn't say things like, "in your anger, do not sin..." We will get angry. That's a given. Where does it come from? And as people who are trying to follow Christ, what do we do with it?

Here are a couple 'anger' questions to consider:

Do you court anger? One of the lunchers yesterday shared of a story from work. She said that when her fellow-employee gets to work, he ALWAYS checks the work of the shift before them. He then proceeds to complain about what the prior shift did wrong. He chooses anger each day.

How do you deal with injustice around you? Another luncher shared of seriously poor working conditions. These guys are working in the freezing cold without a kerosene for the heater that was promised to them. The luncher went to his boss on Saturday to try and get some heat for his friends. His supervisor, void of sympathy, told him if he didn't like it he could just go home. The luncher did go home, but not before going out and buying kerosene with his own money to get the heat going.

Another luncher shared of difficult work circumstances she's dealt with for a year. She made the decision NOT to let her anger show at work, but at the same time, she feels a little inauthentic...

How does one distinguish between selfish anger and selfless anger? How does one ramp up one and tone down the other?

Regular people looking for real answers...and figuring things out as we walk together.

Relationships as Primary

About 6 years ago, Steve and I lived in Clearwater, Florida. At that same time, my French friends, the Augirons, used to rent a bungalow on the inter coastal waterway in Clearwater. Our families spent many afternoon and evenings enjoying the beauty and solidifying our friendship.

There are some things you and I might be able to learn from the Augiron's approach to friendship (as well as the approach of many other non-American cultures).

Rather than a second tier goal or byproduct, friendship is primary. That was evident in our times together. It was always a no-agenda, evening-long event. We would shop together, visit together, cook together, visit together, eat together, and visit together some more. I loved those times!

Several years ago, the Augiron's moved back to France and the bungalow was replaced by a high-rise, but my memories of us sharing our stories and our perspectives on life (though complete opposite oftentimes) are some of the best memories of my life.

As Americans we are so programmed to: "be individuals" or "reach our goals" or "pursue the American dream" that I think we sometimes miss out on the very thing that gives value to life - relationships.

I'm reading a book right now entitled "The Relational Way," by M. Scott Boren. Boren Says:

"Churches don't need another growth program with small groups at the center. They need a way to help people connect with one another in meaningful ways so that they create a contrasting way of life to the environment in which society lives."

As I read Boren's words about reclaiming relationships as primary, my heart leaps. I want to be a part of something that adds beauty and depth and makes a difference in our communities, don't you?

How can we help individuals (who may not even recognize what they're missing) move toward rich, full lives where relationships are primary?

Old Friends

Over the Memorial Day weekend, Steve and the girls and I went camping with some of our best friends in the world. It was a great weekend filled with a lot of nothing. It's funny how you can do a lot of nothing with people you enjoy and it makes for a great weekend.

I've been thinking about what makes these particular friendships strong. History is certainly part of it - we've been through a lot together. Having fun together - also important. Understanding each other is a third facet - though we don't agree on everything, there is a desire to understand and be understood. And deep love/affection is the foundation underneath it all.

Friendship is such an precious part of life. I wonder: How can we best foster it at New Hope? How can we create environments where friendships of all levels can grow?

Changes

The world is changing. Nothing like stating the obvious.

Here’s where I’m coming from. I’m 37 years old. When I was 12 years old, spending hours on the computer is just not something the average kid did. They were the days of basic cable, Atari, and Intelevision (I rock at baseball, just so you know).

You had to be a real computer geek to network your computers together with others and play war games (God bless all you who fit into that category). As I am writing this, my daughter is instant messaging several of her friends from school, dressing an online paper doll, and singing karaoke. She is the ultimate multi-tasker. Any one of you reading this could say, “when I was a kid we didn’t have __________, or we had to survive with ____________, or whatever… Like I said, the world is changing.

Changes in church life are happening as well. New Hope’s small group leaders had a great conversation this past Sunday about some of the trends that we’re seeing. Here is one of the things we talked about:

Formerly, evangelism was often seen as an event that you invite people to. More and more it seems that sharing Jesus with people is a process that occurs through relationship, trust and example.

We seem to be experiencing a freedom to share the love of Jesus through naturally developing friendships as we live with him 24/7/365. The compulsion to try to ‘get someone to our church’ is waning. What seems to be emerging is a desire to be real, have real friendships, and naturally share our lives with others. No hidden agenda – just love.

What do you think? What are you seeing?

BTW – Thanks to all the small group leaders for doing what you do. I appreciate each one of you!