I know many of you have been praying for Paul and Stacy and the kids. For an update on how things are going there, you can check out Paul's blog entry from yesterday at Love Wins.
As I was ironing some clothes yesterday - which I rarely do - but maybe should do more often because it seems to be a time when God and I connect - I was thinking about Paul and Stacy and rather than really be able to lift them up in prayer, I found myself feeling really angry...angry that they have to go through this, angry that life isn't easier...just angry.
And then it was almost as if I felt God say, "why don't you share that anger with me...let's talk about this...I know how you feel." Those words led us into a beautiful time where I quietly prayed through how I was feeling about all of this and was able to sense God's presence and care like I hadn't in a really long time. I think maybe I hadn't really thought about how I felt about things because it seems like - who cares how I feel, I'm not the one going through the health crap. But I came to see that God does care about me and what's going on with me - and he cares about you and what's going on with you, while at the same time caring for Paul and Stacy and the many others who are hurting or sick or oppressed around this globe. I was reminded once again that God is bigger than I could imagine.
God's invitation and my prayer to him became more conversational than it had been in a while. I listened more. I stopped telling him what I wanted him to do.
God does not get surprised. God is love. God cares for his children. God is good.
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3 comments:
I appreciate your honesty about your anger - sometimes we like to pretend that we can't be angry - especially at God. But life just doesn't make sense a lot of times. It's amazing that God WANTS to hear our anger and our frustration and to go through it with us. I'm so glad you had such a beautiful time with the Lord. He is Supreme, and He is Comfort. Love you, Vic.
Thanks for this beautiful blog Vic. I also find it very freeing to let God know when I'm angry. I am human and God created all of these emotions - but it used to be looked at as irreverent to share the negative emotions with God, as if God didn't know we were having them. It's always good to have a reminder that God is big enough to carry them and take care of God's children. Thanks again...for sharing something most people are feeling but might not be sure how to share it.
Ironing????!!! What the heize? Now you are the overachiever!
In all seriousness, I love the way you put words together, I am comforted to know that I am not the only person that has felt this way.
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